Systematic retribution of the tumultuous soul
Begins with one's head in a blood filled bowl,
And ends in reckless insanity writhing -
A sickened idealist whose demons are thriving.
But return to the beginning, flesh and all,
Where the tumultuous soul was hitting the wall.
With shame inflamed faces friends watched his demise
With quaint little interest and the emotion 'to despise';
And the littlest hand led the tumultuous soul
With the littlest sigh, to the littlest foal -
And said, 'Take it and raise it and let it breathe free.'
To which he replied through a guise solit'ry -
'I shall, small angel, and my life I do pledge.'
A week later, it dies, below a damp weathered hedge.
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Comments
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Searching my heart for it's true sorrow
This is what I find to be:
That I am weary of words and people
Sick of the city, wanting the sea.
--
"Forgive and forget. I forgot."
- S.H.
--
'I just had to kill a lot of people!'
- Patrick Bateman
I love the poem, make no mistake. Fav the first 3 lines, great opening, not sure if you wanted the double up of prose?
Anyway, also love the statement
"As usual I can't feel much unless I'm feeling too much" Thats f&*ing grand! (and true about us all....
As usual, another piece of work really worth reading. better, even than that. And thats saying something.
--
BT.
"The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away."
— Robert M. Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintanance
I'm sorry. *sombre*
- S.H.
--
'I just had to kill a lot of people!'
- Patrick Bateman
*nodnod* Yeah. Yeah, you should be. *grins* Don't worry. Just add it a few hundred more time sand it'll be okay.
Urgh, I hate editing Achen chapters...
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Searching my heart for it's true sorrow
This is what I find to be:
That I am weary of words and people
Sick of the city, wanting the sea.
Explain 'double up of prose' a little more plz? I value critique.
I'm not sure if I'm glad that others empathise, but I'm glad I've sense-made.
Thanks again.
- S.H.
--
'I just had to kill a lot of people!'
- Patrick Bateman
You used the word "with" twice on the second line, not sure if going for a stammer, or pause, but didnt seem to fit with your punctuation.
--
BT.
"The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away."
— Robert M. Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintanance
- S.H.
--
'I just had to kill a lot of people!'
- Patrick Bateman
Anyways, anybody who can do, "damp weathered hedge", can check out any time they like but they can never leave
--
Dreams are our currency